Movie Review: I just got a ‘Sucker Punch’ to the Face and it Hurt…a lot

Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch, in its simplest form, is about “a young girl [who] is institutionalized by her wicked stepfather. Retreating to an alternative reality as a coping strategy, she envisions a plan which will help her escape from the facility.” (IMDB)

Sucker Punch was the first movie this year that I was truly excited about.  As a big fan of Snyder’s and the action fantasy genre, this really was just a piece of cinematical eye candy that I could get off on.  Unfortunately for everyone, this movie doesn’t really need, or maybe even deserve, an analytical/thoughtful review because of how disappointing it was.  So instead of that, I have decided to just type up the good, the bad, and the ugly of what unfolded before my eyes only a few hours ago.

The Good:  The soundtrack and score of the film was pretty epic, and at times, even badass.  There was one song that was a mash-up of Queen’s I Want It All/We Will Rock You (feat. Armageddon Aka Geddy) which I thought was pretty sick.

The other positive aspect was the visuals, obviously.  Snyder is possibly the best artistic director out there and he proves it again with this film but visuals can’t save a movie that has no soul…unless it’s Avatar in IMAX 3D

The Bad: Practically everything else.

The acting was mediocre at best, although I didn’t expect it to be anything special.  The girls looked pretty good on screen and that was the extent of their contributions.

The story was blah—if it even existed at all.  It tried to be one giant metaphor that just failed miserably and, for the first time in any of my reviews, I have to call this effort rather pretentious.  Much of this lies within the fact that Snyder took this movie too seriously resulting in an artsy storyboard flick minus the story.  Also, you can’t have an action fantasy film without any comic relief, people will just get bored and their emotions will remain monotonous resulting in their complete dissatisfaction of your work.  I mainly left annoyed because nothing made me smile except the old commander because his dialogue was just pathetic (he tried to sound like Charlie from Charlie’s Angels) as he debriefed the strippers/mental patients on their missions. So yes, there is no humor in this movie whatsoever.

While Snyder is notorious for his use of slow motion, and usually nails its use on the head, he used way too much in Sucker Punch and it just became annoying.  It was used in some places that just didn’t need it resulting in the feeling, or actual reality, that maybe half of the film was actually in slo-mo.

The Ugly: Carla Gugino’s Polish chin mole

While this movie may have sucked, I still have faith in Zack (he is one of my favorite directors) and think with Nolan’s guidance he will make a Superman movie that will do the world justice and allow him to regain his credibility as a director (as long as he doesn’t forget that a movie needs a plot).

Sucker Punch stars Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Jena Malone, Carla Gugino, Jon Hamm, Scott Glenn, and Oscar Isaac.  It was released on March 25th.

Rating:A visuallly stunning and humorless disaster with some cool music (3/10)

You can also watch my video review below for some more in-depth explanations.

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