Every teacher’s nightmare comes to the big screen when a food virus sweeps through Ft Chicken, Illinois, turning summer school students into bloodthirsty killers, roaming the playground looking for teachers to brutally slaughter.
Clint (Elijah Wood) is an aspiring writer working on his first novel. To get some money, inspiration, and to pass the time he decides to substitute at his old Elementary School over the summer. He soon bumps into his old school friend, Lucy (Alison Pill), who is now a teacher at the school, as well as an array of strange teachers who make up this Zom Com’s stella cast. The players are Wade (Rainn Wilson) an in-your-face P.E teacher who’s dating Lucy and jealous of Clint’s arrival. Dough (Leigh Whannell) a socially awkward science teacher who’s constantly trying to fit in with the normality of the teachers. Rebekkah (Nasim Pedrad) a seemingly angry at everything, paranoid Creationism teacher. Tracy (Jack McBrayer) who is pretty much playing the same role Jack McBrayer plays in everything (hey, if it ain’t broke) and Vice Principle Simms (Ian Brennan) who’s standing in for the Principle over the summer and has his very own peculiar way of running the school. During Clint’s first morning one of the kids starts developing strange symptoms after eating some infected chicken and it isn’t long before all hell breaks loose on the playground during recess as the teachers are none the wiser locked away in the teachers lounge enjoying their freedom from the classroom. To survive they have to put aside their differences and band together to make it through the school day.
Cooties’ biggest strength is the fantastic ensemble it has as its disposal. Elijah Wood’s credentials speak for itself, and while his character’s motives are a little up in the air and he doesn’t do much, Wood’s presence is enough to make you forget about that. Rain Wilson and Jack McBrayer provide exactly what you’d expect them to bring to a film such as this with their empowering comic presence and Allison Pill and Leigh Whannell provide the support to help mix things up within the group, Whannell especially in a stand-out performance. The only real disappointments are Nasim Pedrad who’s only real fault is her character doesn’t get enough to do aside from two hilarious outbursts in the beginning of the film. The two students with the outlandish gang of teachers (and who escape being infected) are the real question marks of the film as they provide nothing more than plot vices to move the story forward by a couple of millimetres just past the half-way point. Also wasted is Jorge Garcia who plays a groundsman who gets high off shrooms right at the beginning of the film and sees the whole thing play-out in front of him, going undetected the whole time.
Cooties will almost certainly reach that cult status, but under the right circumstances it may even reach a mainstream audience. It may never be as big as Shaun of the Dead or Zombieland, but it can overtakes the likes of Warm Bodies and be a very good B+ Zom Com staple for years to come.
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