Sometimes you’ve just got to kick back with a crazy fun one. A horror that has a lot of fun and doesn’t take itself too seriously. Step forward, Nurse 3D.
At the beginning of the film we get a disclaimer stating the FBI reports the health care profession has caused more murders than any other profession and that there’s a greater number of serial killers within it too. Cue Abigail Russell (Paz De La Huerta), a beautiful, provocatively dressed woman sorting herself out in the mirror of a club’s bathroom while addressing us via voice-over. Tonight she’s on the hunt for a married man looking to hook up with an unsuspecting young woman. And by her accounts, clubs are full of them and they’re scum for cheating. An accurate assumption by most you’ll agree. What happens next isn’t quite so by the books though as Abby takes the man in question, who she gives one last chance to walk away (she always gives them one last chance), before she brutally murders him for being a lying, cheating scum-bag. Yikes! Yet, while all this happens, Nurse 3D director Douglas Aarniokosi keeps a fantastic, upbeat, charming tone about the manner in which everything unfolds. Mostly because you can’t help but fall in love Abby right off the bat. She’s funny, quick-witted, vindictive and extremely attractive, but don’t be fooled, this is one dangerous character and one you’d hope not to cross on the wrong night.
By day Abby is a nurse, but there’s always an element of her cold, dead, alluring nature which can’t go unnoticed. She’s mentor to new nurse Danni (Katrina Bowden). There’s a dangerous attraction, however, on Abby’s part towards Danni and while she has a hatred towards men who cheat, she pursues Danni with no bitterness towards the idea she’d cheat on her boyfriend, Steve (Corbin Bleu) with her. The hospital in which they both work in, All Saints, is a sort of old fashioned, run by sexist pig doctors, hospital. The chief of medicine is the on-form Judd Nelson, as perverse Dr. Morris, sporting one hell of a moustache and sadly missing out on more time in the film. Abby goes about her day to day routine, and even is Nurse of The Month at the hospital. Nobody suspects a thing, not even Danni, until Abby can’t control her obsession for the new nurse.
Abby is that character you love to hate. While at times she does things you cheer for, you know she’s inherently evil and in a moments notice you’re ready to hate her again. She seems to test every male she comes across with her provocative glare and it’s a part fantastically played by actress Paz De La Huerta.
This is absolutely a high end B-movie, but that’s okay, Nurse 3D knows exactly what it is, the title and poster themselves are a bit of a give away. Production value is good and the effects can be, at times, wonderfully gorey. Sometimes the voice-overs feel like they come out of knowwhere and become a bit of an overused troupe, and I dare say we could have seen a little more of Abby in action, but for most of the film she just creepily pines over Danni. The script attempts to give a bit too much of a story for the characters rather than letting it flow naturally and by the end you’re a little done with it all. It’s very reminiscent of Sami Raimi‘s Drag Me To Hell in the sense that it gives the audience a little too much, adds just a bit too much of an ingredient to the dish and ultimately ruins the meal.
One constant throughout in Nurse 3D is that it is able to stay light and fun, and we get a superb cat-fight right at the very end that destroys everything and everyone in its path as it rampages through the hospital halls. The film is sexy, fun, and very very gorey with some spectacular deaths and memorable lines from Abby, who may very well be your favourite psychotic serial killer of the year.
Rating: A great modern B-movie that does exactly what it says on the tin, (6/10).
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