Spoken language has existed for thousands of years, and in that vast span there have only been a handful of instances when humanity did not possess the proper words to express themselves. This is one of those rare instances when words fail us.
Dolph Lundgren is starring in a sequel to Kindergarten Cop. And there are photos to prove it.
Yes, Ivan Drago himself is going from a small role in a Coen brothers movie (Hail Caesar!) to the lead role in a likely direct-to-video sequel to the 1990 Arnold Schwarzenegger comedy classic directed by Don Michael Paul (Half Past Dead, Who’s Your Caddy,Jarhead 2: Field of Fire) and screenwriter David H. Steinberg (American Pie 2, Slackers). And before you question whether or not the original actually is a classic, just think of all the funny Arnold lines come out of that film: “I’m the party pooper!” “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina” “Who is your daddy, and what does he do?” “There is no bathroom!” “Take your toy back to the carpet!”
Of course, a direct-to-video sequel to a twenty-five year old movie with a totally different lead actor and creative team is not often a recipe for success. But whether you think Kindergarten Cop 2 will be hilarious, hilariously awful, or just plain awful, it’s hard to deny that Lundgren has been on a tear since The Expendables brought him back to theaters, and he has done some of the best work in his career in his recent string of direct-to-video movies like Skin Trade.
With that said, Kindergarten Cop 2 could be hilarious or a total misfire. But if a sequel has to be made — and this is Hollywood, so of course it did — and Schwarzenegger won’t fit in the budget, why not Lundgren? About the only people dumb enough to mess with him are five year-olds.
Kindergarten Cop 2: It’s Still Not a Tumor (that’s what I’m going to all it) will likely hit the DVD racks in late 2016 or 2017. Until then, head over to Manly Movie to check out all the stills.
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