Set to hit the DVD shelves on November 29th from IFC Midnight is Vincent Lannoo’s Belgian mockumentary, Vampires.
“Vincent Lannoo’s VAMPIRES is the This Is Spinal Tap of vampire films, the “true” story of a clan of Belgian vampires trying to hold their family together and get along with the neighbors. Dad seems to be channeling Bela Lugosi. Mom’s a little bit off. Throw a rebellious son and a daughter pining for her lost mortality into the mix and it’s a recipe for family discord. Add a bewildered documentary crew and things are bound to get a little chaotic. This family of bored bloodsuckers eats illegal immigrants, children, the handicapped – and they’re also determined to bleed the country’s social benefits for all they’re worth.” The movie stars Carlo Ferrante, Vera Van Dooren, Pierre Loqnay and Fleur Lise Heuet.
Personally, I think the idea behind this film is genius. It’s about time someone made a mockumentary about vampires while avoiding all the tasteless pretty people downfalls of today’s vampire culture. That being said, the movie doesn’t come even close to the brilliance of This is Spinal Tap or other mockumentaries like Trollhunter, but it does have some moments worth remembering. Where it does match quality of these other films is the matter-of-fact way in which the film is shot and the performances are delivered. In all these films, the main theme is: yeah we exist, it’s no big deal.
Since our focus is on one particular vampire family we learn about the culture of vampires through their experiences. We find out how they have assimilated into Belgian society and how they reap all the benefits of their very liberal system. In fact, you learn that not only is there a very strong vampire community, but that they actually have undocumented rights in Belgium. The children attend school (at night of course), police bring immigrants over to rid them from their country and more surprising facts.
What I really enjoyed about the film were the little idiosyncrasies of each of the characters along with the mythology behind vampires in general. For example, the mother and father, Bertha and Geroges, are also mother and son, weird I know. In the vampire world, traditional human taboos go out the window because they are immortal which is why you can have sex with whoever you want. The daughter, Grace, is a really funny character because she wants to be human again and does everything in her power to try and accomplish that goal, i.e. wears pink all the time, puts on self tanning lotion, and even has sex with an Andrew Garfield human look-a-like.
My favorite part of the film has to do with the son’s best friend who became a vampire the night he performed a concert with The Doors. He was apparently a musician with Jim Morrison and then after one night of extreme partying woke up a vampire. I thought that was a great tie-in for the American vampire because it reminded me of Forrest Gump and the way he managed to work his way into history via the Watergate scandal.
The downside of the feature is that, for the most part, it’s rather boring and somewhat pointless. It’s the kind of film where you could replace the subject matter with another horror creature and nothing in the film would change, story
-wise at least. Also, the final 20 minutes or so plays out like a “where are they now” feature, a segment which is not needed in the film and diminishes the characters that we’ve learned so much about. While it gives you an opportunity to see how other vampire communities live around the world, I felt that it ended up discrediting the earlier portions of the film.
When it comes to the disc itself, there isn’t much in the way of special features. There are a few deleted scenes which include a few outtakes that will give you a chuckle and then the trailer for the movie as well. The deleted scenes don’t add much to the mythology of the faux-documentary but the expand on things you’ve partially learned about
Overall, Vampires is a film in which the originality of the idea ends up being better than the actual execution of the film. I’ll give Vincent Lannoo credit for taking this bold and original step in an attempt to capitalize on the current vampire craze, but unfortunately he wasn’t able to succeed in the same way films like Trollhunter and This is Spinal Tap have been able to. In the end, the movie is a bland mockumentary that offers little in the way of entertainment and only a few pity chuckles, here and there. I’d rent it if you’re curious to see how the dead half lives.
Rating: An original but failed satire that isn’t worth owning (4/10)
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