In 1986 there was a very B-rated looking film released called Class of Nuke ‘Em High, a film about students who buy contaminated drugs from a worker at the nuclear power plant located next to their high school. After consuming the drugs these students started acting weird, eventually turning into zombie looking beings called Cretins that need to be destroyed.
After a long period of time, one of the directors of that film, Lloyd Kaufman, decided that it was time to reboot/sequelize that apparently infamous and grotesque film with Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1, which is making its world premiere at the Fantasia Film Festival. Yes that does say volume one as this return is part of an epic two part lesbianic adventure where the students of Tromaville High School are infected with contaminated tacos from the organic food factory where the plant once stood and the loser glee club turns into a horrific and evil gang called The Cretins. At the same time An angry eco-blogger named Chrissy (Asta Paredes) and a duck owning rich girl named Lauren (Catherine Corcoran) consummate their new relationship and takes on everyone that tries to put them down so that they can continue to go down on each other. Nice!
I had no idea what to expect from this movie. I assumed it would be a nice straight forward horror comedy that would fall in line with something like the show Todd and the Book of Pure Evil or maybe something like the movie Tucker & Dale vs. Evil but instead I found out I was in for something quite different, a film more in line with Japanese films like Dead Sushi and Helldriver.
As the film progressed I realized that nothing should really surprise me once I saw how far they were willing to take the film in the first 10 minutes, like having bodies completely melt from acid-like substances or a dick ripped off out of nowhere but, one of the many joyous surprises that I encountered was something the Evil Dead films and fans would be proud of. In those films we get to witness tree rape as many of you are familiar with, but in Lloyd Kaufman’s film we bring the raping back to mammals, in this film’s case we witness a girl get duck raped (though it’s not nearly as visually crazy as it sounds on paper). But yes folks, duck rape. Take it in, think about it, try and picture it and then give up because it won’t be like what you imagine.
Continuing on, everything about this movie is over the top. The acting, the gore, the dialogue, the characters, literally anything and everything that’s in the movie goes above and beyond the point of normalcy, which is completely fine. There’s plenty of sex of the lesbian variety, there’s enough colored gore to put you off eating for a week, and character interactions that serve absolutely no purpose but are there for the stupid laughs you cam
e for.
I would like to make a few recommendations for those planning on seeing this film. Don’t eat before or during the movie as there is just too much nasty looking practical effects that’ll make even the strongest of stomachs think twice about consuming food. Secondly, don’t watch this movie during the day and make sure to get like minded individuals to watch it with you. So basically watch it in the dark with friends, you’ll have a much better experience than watching it alone as you’ll likely want to turn it off and go do something else, plus, humor is better when it is shared.
With vomit inducing practical effects and an over the top presentation to boot, Return to Nuke ‘Em High Volume 1 might be one of the most insane American made splatter films that I’ve ever seen to date, one that falls in-line with all those ridiculous Sushi Typhoon titles made by Yoshihiro Nishimura and Noboru Iguchi, if you haven’t seen those then just think of Evil Dead 2, if you liked that you’ll probably enjoy this.
Rating: Lesbians, duck rape, and a ton of icky gore, this is one B-rated splatter film midnight fans won’t want to miss (?/10)
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