As an avid watcher of B type movies, especially B horror films I was initially excited to watch Frozen. I then checked out the trailer and became pumped to sit down and watch this movie as soon as possible. Its unfortunate that within the first ten minutes of the movie I realized exactly what I had gotten myself into. The movie centers around three main characters, Parker O’Neil (Emma Bell), Joe Lynch (Shawn Ashmore), and Dan walker (Kevin Zegers). With most, if not all, the second rate movies I watch the actors and actresses are relatively unkown to me. Fortunately I was watching this movie with Alex and he thought the actor playing Joe Lynch looked familiar and a quick IMDB search, it showed that he was in X2 as the young Iceman.
Anyway, this movie is very similar to Open Water and Open Water 2:Adrift. The only difference is that one is in warm shark infested waters, the other is in a sub zero ski chair lift, with a wolf pack of the non Hangover kind. I’d like to say more than that about the movie but that’s really all there is to it.
Well that’s a lie, there are so many terrible aspects of this movie that it makes the main characters seems as though they have a combined IQ of 100. That may be a little harsh but let me throw a couple of quick scenarios at you. You’ve cheated your way onto the mountain to begin with to save money, but that’s not enough for you, you have to go on one night ski run as well. The absolute last ski run on that mountain for the next week. Okay, so maybe that’s not so bad, but when all of a sudden the operator of the ski lift on that last run changes three different times in a matter of 15 seconds after the trio’s chair lift headed off towards the top you begin to think, “really that just happened, what a convenient coincidence.”
The next scenario really just sums up how predictable and un realistic this movie truly was. The three main characters get stuck halfway up the mountain in the chairlift because the mountain gets closed. The three main characters saw other skiers on their way up pass underneath them. Now if you’ve even been skiing you’ll know that the operators of the ski lift at the top of the mountain ride back down the mountain in the chair lift or they ski down the mountain. Either way, the operator should have run into the trio sitting in the chairlift at some point right? Well magically he is down at the bottom of the mountain ready to go home without having passed the three main characters. So that’s not terribly unrealistic maybe he took another way down the mountain. But still that’s just another convenient coincidence. Before I go any further I want to say that there have been tons of movies I’ve seen with un realistic downright stupid plot points but this movie takes the cake in having too many making the entire movie only interesting to watch in the fact that I had never seen so much ridiculousness outright un realistic plot points in a single movie before.
Back to my little rant review. So you’re stuck in a chair lift in sub degree weather, of course you might think you to jump down, but then you’d realize its 50 feet below to compacted icy snow that would obviously break your entire body upon impact. You’d start thinking of alternatives, such as the fact that about 100 feet away is one of the towers through which the ski lift uses to string together all the chairs. Yes its hard to scale a steel wire 100 or so feet to the tower, but it makes more sense than jumping and absolutely breaking something. Right? Wrong, one of the main characters decides its best to jump anyway. Fine at that point I wanted something to happen. What do you know legs break and he’s stuck and can’t move, thus jumping was pointless, well other than to break both his legs. Now pay attention this is where things get really interesting. A wolf pack shows up. I’m going to let that register for a moment. A wolf pack, yes, an entire pack of wolves shows up in the middle of a ski path to eat the guy with the broken legs, while the remaining two characters can do nothing. Ridiculous.
I realize this is getting long so I’m going to end it with one more wonderful plot point. One of the remaining characters eventually makes it down to the ground un-scathed but as I later found out had also was eaten by the same pack of wolves halfway down the mountain while he was attempting to reach help.
It may seem like I’ve spoiled the entire movie, but believe me I’ve left out numerous other crazy plot issues. Even with the ones I’ve shared this movie is only worth watching to see that I’m not crazy and that the only think you can do while watching this movie is say “really, that just happened?”
Check out the trailer below, but beware!
16 Comments
Jasmin
omg that was the asmone movie ever but it was nasty when the wolfs ate the guy
Jasmin
omg that was the asmone movie ever but it was nasty when the wolfs ate the guy
Skwerl
First, the inital part of oyur review “being crazy coincidence’s” well thats how shit like this happens. so i lived with that.
but they always ride down the ski lift to ensure no one is on it.
second who cant throw at a damn car and hit it. that effing snow plow truck guy, they would of so got his attention.
NEXT those wires arent razor sharp. and AS SOON as the storm hit , when the operator had warned them about weather, I FOR ONE would have scaled the cable to the ladder.
To top it off, why didnt the SKIER find his SKI’s instead he sat on that damn board and rode down the mountain he deserved to get eaten.
the combined IQ of 100 was the best statement in this review.
this movie just makes other countries hate americans more. good job frozen
Alex
HA! yes-love this comment
Skwerl
First, the inital part of oyur review “being crazy coincidence’s” well thats how shit like this happens. so i lived with that.
but they always ride down the ski lift to ensure no one is on it.
second who cant throw at a damn car and hit it. that effing snow plow truck guy, they would of so got his attention.
NEXT those wires arent razor sharp. and AS SOON as the storm hit , when the operator had warned them about weather, I FOR ONE would have scaled the cable to the ladder.
To top it off, why didnt the SKIER find his SKI’s instead he sat on that damn board and rode down the mountain he deserved to get eaten.
the combined IQ of 100 was the best statement in this review.
this movie just makes other countries hate americans more. good job frozen
Alex
HA! yes-love this comment
frozenlady11
Personally I think that this whole review on frozen WAS A PEICE OF CRAP! I loved that movie so much. Ya people don’t usually get stuck in these situations but it could happen. HOW would it feel to you to watch your Boyfriend/Girlfriend get eaten in front of you! or see your friend chewed up on the ground.
Chris McKittrick
First I’d get a new girlfriend.
frozenlady11
Personally I think that this whole review on frozen WAS A PEICE OF CRAP! I loved that movie so much. Ya people don’t usually get stuck in these situations but it could happen. HOW would it feel to you to watch your Boyfriend/Girlfriend get eaten in front of you! or see your friend chewed up on the ground.
Chris McKittrick
First I’d get a new girlfriend.
CanineBehaviorist
So I know a thing or two about dogs and wolf behavior (im an ethologist), this movie was disapointing for me because obviously the person in charge of the “wolves” didnt do much research. If a wolf were to eat a person, it would be a lone animal that was outcasted from the pack. I thought the first wolf was going to devour him.. because lone wolves are often oportunistic eaters. The pack of wolves eating dan… not realistic at all. Maybe if he was running.. the prey drive would kick in. Not only that, they would be terrified of a person.. especially one that was sitting in the snow, they have never seen that. The wolves acted like they ate people everyday that were in the snow. In this day and age.. EXTREMELY unrealistic.
jaimee
great movie, had no idea that it was a B movie. the only thing i thoght was unrealistic was that the girl had a lighter as she lit a smoke when she lost her glove, but she never used it ? weird if you are frozen. And when Dan jumped he should have taken off his ski boats as they keep your legs stiff and strait if he took them off he might have not killed his legs as much.
Bawjaws
just accept it! the movie is bad!
George Shaub
well, i liked the movie. but the again, i liked open water as well. i wouldn’t say the scenario of being forgotten on a ski lift is realistic, but for a horror movie it’s more realistic than undead madmen with hockey masks on, and would obviously be pretty scary and f’d up. as far as the wolves attacking dan, i hear that wolves are afraid of people. but what about a very hungry pack of wolves while the person is gushing blood and on the ground screaming? who knows. in any case, the scary part of movies like this (open water as well), isn’t the sharks or the wolves: it’s the unknown and the hopelessness. most horror movies are about being chased by a madman through the woods or some neighborhood, or being pursued by ghosts through a house. these scenarios are things we look at and say “they could just shoot him” or “go get a priest and exorcise those ghosts”. in a situation like in frozen, you look at it and say ” a bunch of hungry wolves, frostbite, a major blizzard, AND i’m stuck to a metal chair 150 feet off the ground? crap.” movies like this have always fascinated me, ever since i saw my first one (cujo). obviously though, i do blame the girl for not being able to ski, and in addition i also blame dan for bringing her. the fact that she doesn’t get eaten was my least favorite part of this movie.
The Coach
Artistic freedom folks. When you are looking for the “this isn’t real” crap you are forgetting this is a movie! It doesn’t have to be based on fact.
This was tense and exciting film. Is it a “B” movie? Sure it is. But a pretty good one.
Mike Tan
what i would have done… i would have slept through the night with my friends, huddling together for warmth. when daylight come, i would go to that tower, with my friends. i would then proceed to ski/snowboard down the mountain. there. problem solved