Almost two years ago I reviewed one of the worst movies I had ever seen, Girls Gone Dead, a splatter parody of the Girls Gone Wild phenomenon. The main reason I saw it was because it had the most eclectic cast I’ve ever seen in a movie, including wrestling legend Jerry “The King” Lawler and the drummer from Iron Maiden. Sure, there was nudity too, but as I said in my review, “it doesn’t show anything that you wouldn’t be able to see by simply Googling ‘topless hot chicks’ (be sure to turn Safe Search off!)”
Now there is news that a movie in the same vein hitting DVD shelves in June, Jersey Shore Massacre, directed, co-written, and executive produced by Paul Tarnopol, who was the executive producer of Girls Gone Dead. To make sure you know that this is a Jersey Shore parody, none other than Jenni ‘Jwoww’ Farley is on board as executive producer.
The cast includes Sal Governale from the Howard Stern Show and porn legend Ron Jeremy, who both had small cameoes in the similarly-themed Girls Gone Dead. They’re joined by other Stern Show favorites like Richard Christy and Mark “Bigfoot” Shaw.
What really confuses me about this movie is that it’s a parody of something that isn’t even popular anymore. I mean, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer make horrible, horrible parody “movies” like Meet the Spartans, but the one thing I can give them is that their “jokes” are current (though they aren’t funny). Now I never thought I would ever say anything remotely positive about Friedberg and Seltzer, but Jersey Shore Massacre found a way to make me do it. Then again, Girls Gone Dead came out almost a decade after Girls Gone Wild was popular, so timing isn’t the strong point here. Frankly it doesn’t seem all that different from Jersey Shore Shark Attack, which came out in 2012.
Anyway, this might be good fun for a pizza and beer night, right? Anyway, check out the full press release below:
Jenni Farley, best known as ‘JWOWW’ from the MTV hit series Jersey Shore has signed on to executive produce the horror/comedy JERSEY SHORE MASSACRE. Written and directed by Paul Tarnopol, the film stars Danielle Dallacco, Sal Governale, Richard Christy, Bigfoot and Ron Jeremy. Spy Global Media will release JERSEY SHORE MASSACRE in theaters and on VOD in June 2014.
JERSEY SHORE MASSACRE explores a day in the life of Teresa (Danielle Dallacco) and her girlfriends when they leave their suburban New Jersey salon for a weekend of sun and sin down the shore. The girls hook up with five fist-pumping delinquents who find themselves thrown out from a seaside bar for inciting a dance floor brawl. With nowhere else to go, the group winds up at Teresa’s uncle Vito’s hideaway in the New Jersey Pine Barrens. What was supposed to be a night of debauchery soon turns into a bloodbath when the group becomes unsuspecting targets of a mentally deranged killer. One by one, the body count rises at the hands of a butcher who has much more than just an axe to grind.
“I’m so excited for the release of JERSEY SHORE MASSACRE,” said JWOWW. “It’s what all the fans of Jersey Shore need in their life! From GTL, grenades and the crazy shore life, this insane horror comedy movie will not disappoint!”
“Since receiving a great audience response to a rough cut of JERSEY SHORE MASSACRE last October, we have been very excited for the film’s release,” said Paul Tarnopol. “The addition of JWOWW with her millions of fans to our team is absolutely fantastic. Jersey Shore was in over 40 markets around the world, and JERSEY SHORE MASSACRE will soon be available to all of those markets.”
As CEO of JWOWW Productions, JWOWW develops scripted and non-scripted projects for film and television. She can currently be seen in the hit MTV spin-off Snooki & JWOWW and is a series regular on The OnLine Network’s classic drama series One Life to Live. JWOWW is a best selling author who has helped launched several successful brands, including serving as spokesperson for her popular tanning lotion line for Australian Gold.
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