When approached to see if I wanted to view and then review the phallic filled documentary The Final Member, I couldn’t help but stifle the immature giggles that were creeping up my throat. When I really thought about screening a film about the world’s only penis museum and the hunt for the last specimen that would complete the collection, the human penis, I stopped giggling, realized how lucky I was to be a woman, crossed my legs, and sat down to view this peculiar story.
Siggi Hjartarson is a simple man. He’s an author, educator, and family man. And he collects penises. His interest was sparked back in 1974 when a friend gave him a bull’s penis as a gag gift. Since then, he began collecting phalluses ranging from the smallest (a hamster’s) to the largest (a sperm whale’s). When his wife mentioned that their home was becoming, well, a bit too stuffy, Siggi decided to open up the Icelandic Phallological Museum in Husavik back in 1997. However, he feels his collection would not be complete without the human penis. Thus, he seeks out candidates willing to part with their…part. This is when the film becomes completely (and hilariously) engrossing.
We meet these two candidates. The first is a local 95 year old man named Pall Arason who has had quite the exciting life. Not only an adventure-seeker, he has a formidable penis that has led to him bedding over 300 women over his lifetime. He looks forward to passing away and a piece of him living on forever in Siggi’s museum. There is just one problem: old age = severe shrinkage and, as we are told through an Icelandic fairy tale, one’s member must be at least 5 inches or it cannot be revelled by the public. Our second candidate is an egotistical American named Tom Mitchell. Tom has always wanted his penis to be showcased for all to see and even has named his member Elmo. In the race against Pall, Tom has decided to find a doctor who will castrate Elmo and live as an androgynous being.
I had my doubts with this film when reading the synopsis. Although it has a short run time (72 minutes), I didn’t feel a movie about this subject was going to be one to tell many people about. Boy, was I wrong. Debut directors Jonah Bekhor and Zach Math take what could be a 72 minute punchline and, instead bring out the mature human story of Siggi and these two candidates. There was a moment towards the end of the film that I found myself tearing up and proceeded to laugh at myself for feeling such emotion for these real life characters. Their stories seems ludicrous and immature: size, girth, and who can be the *ahem* bigger man? Seems bizarre to focus on such a simple organ. However, I felt empathetic with Siggi, who just wanted to attain something that was absolutely complete before he passes away and would become a faded memory. It’s quite heartbreaking.
Now, I’m not a man, but as a human being, I can definitely understand wanting to leave a piece of yourself behind to be remembered for all time. Not quite sure I would leave a genital behind, but, hey, whose to judge?
Rating: A film that could have shaved 15 minutes off of it’s run time, but avoided all the obvious penis jokes, The Final Member is a documentary that should be viewed a bit harder (7.5/10)
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