Ugh. Just look at that poster for Ironclad. It has B movie written all over it. Geez, I just saw the tagline: Heavy metal goes medieval. I realize there are many gems hidden behind bad covers, but seriously. Really? SO CHEESY. Alright, alright, let’s move past that and focus on the film.
Jonathan English directs the story based on the actual history of the Rochester castle in England in the Middle Ages. After King John signed the Magna Carta, he went back on it and then started killing all the witnesses. Pretty clever. A group of rebels try to stop him by taking over Rochester castle and holding their ground against the troops. Yep. That’s it.
Ok, where do I begin? Let’s start with the camera work. It’s as if the guy shooting it, thought it would be really fun to use handhelds and make awkward zooms like in an indie comedy. Strange reaction shots, close up zooms and wide shots with zooms. Zooms zooms zooms. No. No, no, no. That may have worked in Shoot’Em Up (which I absolutely LOVED), but not here. This is not set up for comedy. It was distracting and frankly, gave me a headache.
The character development was virtually non-existent. You get a basic idea of the characters, but since most of the time they’re fighting, there’s not much room for dialogue. There were a few subplots that were hinted at with the supporting cast. What was with teaching the guy to write for like 1 minute, then coming back to it later and he can write his name perfectly? Still can’t figure that one out. Oh! The love story! Seriously? It wasn’t love, it was lust. She’s been cooped up with a husband who doesn’t prefer her gender and he’s the first good looking guy to stop by. And, Kate Mara (Shooter), looks about 15 years old so it’s just…weird.
Performances. Oh, Paul Giamatti. What in the world were you thinking? (Oh, I’ll get to use a british accent and be mean to people? Sign me up!) I am a big fan, but I really couldn’t buy him as the King. He was trying way to hard. If you want to see good Paul Giamatti, go see Win Win (read my review here).
Brian Cox, on the other hand, was awesome as per usual. As the leader of the gangs of mercenaries, he embodied the integrity needed for the role. Another bright spot was Jason Flemyng, who does not get enough work, but always manages to squeeze as much good stuff into any small role.
James Purefoy as Thomas Marshall reminds me of Christopher Lambert. You know, the dead-behind-the-eyes actor from the Highlander movies? He was completely blank. Which one am I talking about? Both of them.
I was impressed with the gorgeous landscape views. They were breathtaking and quite mesmerizing. I especially liked the views of the castle from afar.
The carnage. Damn. I’ve seen some battle scenes, but I’ve never seen anything so gratuitous that was actually taking itself seriously. I mean, there are people literally cutting off people’s limbs and using them as weapons against them. Oh, I guess that’s a spoiler, sorry. Honestly, it’s probably very realistic for the time, but I don’t want to see all that. I like my gratuitous violence served with comedy.
Ironclad sets up to be a good story but the execution was way too over-the-top. People going in expecting a dramatic story are in for a rude awakening. This could have benefited from 3D, or perhaps a Gallagher performance.
Rating: Drama. Violence. Story. More violence. Story. Even more violence. The End. 2/10
Read Graham’s review from the Dallas Film Festival here.
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