An epic and ambitious anthology, Magnet Releasing’s latest film, The ABC’s of Death, might just be the weirdest, nastiest, funniest, most diverse and downright wrong collection of horror shorts to ever span an 123 minute duration. The film’s premise: 26 directors from around the world were each given a letter of the alphabet, from there they are given free rein to choose a word starting with that letter and create a story involving death. What’s follows is an example of just how diverse the horror genre can be and how twisted some of these great directors’ minds are when working with limited resources and a short amount of time.
Since this is a very long and diverse anthology it doesn’t make sense to review the overall film because, as is the case with any anthology, some parts are great, other suck, some are weird and others are just out there, making it very difficult to paint a clear overall picture for you, the reader. Below you’ll find the list of the 26 shorts and their accompanying directors followed by my commentary and a very brief plot synopsis without trying to spoil the fun in each.
Apocalypse by Nacho Vigalondo: Nacho definitely finds a way to gross out the audience immediately but the actual story is a little weird and not exactly clear. We get that the apocalypse is coming but the rationale behind why the wife or partner is trying to kill her bedridden husband is never understood. We’re just left wondering WTF? while laughing at her attempt at murder.
Bigfoot by Adrián García Bogliano: The only fairytale death short amongst this children’s book inspired anthology, Bogliano’s Bigfoot short isn’t anything special. It’s basically the telling of a horror story with the actual made-up story coming to life.
Cycle by Ernesto Díaz Espinoza: Cycle is an interesting short but one that never really kept me engrossed. Imagine Groundhog’s Day except every time you entered the time warp a clone of yourself appeared in your place from the “day before.” This short is the personification of a vicious cycle.
Dogfight by Marcel Sarmiento: Initially I wasn’t feeling Sarmiento’s short but by the end and after a reflection of the film I think this one might be my favorite of all the serious shorts. It’s about a man literally fighting a dog in an underground “man vs. dog” betting ring. It’s beautifully shot and all in slow motion (which is why I was skeptical about it) and while at times it’s hard not to chuckle, the end has a kicker and is very satisfying, especially for dog lovers.
Exterminate by Angela Bettis: A decent and pretty funny short about an evil spider and it’s attempt to kill a human.
Fart by Noburo Iguchi: By far the funniest and most ridiculous short of the lot. If any of you know Noboru Iguchi then you know he is an ass man and he loves making things come out of people’s butts. The best way to describe this short is to call it a soft core Japanese fart porn. Let your imagination run wild.
Gravity by Andrew Traucki: The most pointless short of them all. This first person surfing piece is nice to look at but there is nothing substantial to take away from the short and the overall idea behind it was wasted.
Hydro-Electric Diffusion by Thomas Cappelen Malling: This is probably the wackiest one of the bunch but after you watch the short and the title appears, it’s also really hilarious. Without getting too detailed, you’ll see a Nazi cat and a dog fighter pilot in WWII attire battling it out at a strip club.
D is for ‘Dogfight’
Ingrown by Jorge Michel Grau: I didn’t really understand the purpose or point of this one, particularly because the voiceover narration didn’t make sense to me. If you watch the visuals alone it’s a pretty simple premise but if you don’t like seeing someone scratch themselves up or enjoy realistic looking vomit I’d close your eyes and ears for it. Jidai-Geki by Yûdai Yamaguchi: This is basically a satire of samurai movies, specifically the scene in a samurai movie when someone must commit hara-kiri.Klutz by Anders Morgenthaler: An animated short about a girl having difficulties flushing her adorable little poopie down the toilet. This is a very clever and very funny short.
Libido by Timo Tjahjanto: A very sadistic short that’s a mix between Hostel and 13 Tzameti (English remake titled 13). It involves guys competing in jerk off contests in order to stay alive. As they get further and further their source material gets stranger and more sadistic.
Miscarriage by Ti West: A gross, simple and I believe the shortest of all the short films. Ti West’s piece is a nasty one that did absolutely nothing for me. Yes it was memorable [not in a good way] but it’s one of my least favorites of the feature because it left me thinking “Ti, this is the best you can do?”
Nuptials by Banjong Pisanthanakun: A pretty funny short about a guy showing off his talking parrot to his girlfriend. What starts off as funny soon turns violent after the parrot decides to word vomit all over his owner.
Orgasm by Bruno Forzani & Hélène Cattet: This is a very sensual and erotic short about a woman relaxing and experiencing the ultimate pleasure. I could be wrong but I think there is an erotic asphyxiation element to it but for most of the film it just looks like a woman getting some love downtown from her man.
Pressure by Simon Rumley: I wasn’t a huge fan of this short. It’s about a mother who doubles as a prostitute in order to support her kids. The extent to which she is willing to go to make money changes after the money she saved is stolen. If you love cats I’d stay away from this one.
Quack by Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett: This might be the cleverest short of them all even if the ending becomes very predictable. It’s a self aware short starring Adam and Simon in the lead roles as they try to come up with a short for the letter Q and I’ll leave it at that.
Removed by Srdjan Spasojevic: This is a really weird short and definitely not one for those with a weak stomach. All I can really say about it is that they cut the skin off of a guy and use it to develop film and then some more stuff happens.
Speed by Jake West: A Mad Max looking short about a woman trying to evade death. It has some clever aspects to it but it’s not one of the better shorts, it falls comfortable in the middle somewhere.
Toilet by Lee Hardcastle: One of my personal favorites and probably one of the best and most entertaining shorts of the lot, Lee Hardcastle’s claymation short is about a kid terrified to use the toilet in his bathroom because he’s afraid a monster will come out of it and eat him. What happens is hilarious pandemonium at its finest.
R is for ‘Removed’
Unearthed by Ben Wheatley: If you’ve ever seen Kill List chances are when you start watching this short you can instantly tell it’s a Ben Wheatley film, namely because of the tone and style. This is a first person death flick from the p.o.v of some sort of beast. Vagitus by Kaare Andrews: This is a pretty cool short and the only quality, effects heavy sci-fi one of the film. It’s about the regulation of babies, mentalists and an underground revolution to overthrow the restrictive government. It’s got a Robo-Cop feel to it and one worth watching.WTF! by Jon Schnepp: Based around the world of the Heavy Metal magazine, what starts off (and ends) really funny turns into a hodgepodge of death and something you’d see in the movie Natural Born Killers, just a lot of trippy shit. The title couldn’t be more accurate for what you end up watching.
XXL by Xavier Gens: After having just seen the movie Martyrs, the idea of seeing a body without it’s skin isn’t something I thought I’d be seeing again so soon. Gens’ short is about an overweight woman wanting to become skinny and she does the unthinkable to do so. Definitely not one for the squeamish.
Youngbuck by Jason Eisener: This is a creepy and weird pedophile short that has an oddly appropriate happy ending. All I can really say about this one is that is has an awesome 80s upbeat synth pop track backing the entire silent short and it makes you want to train like Rocky.
Zetsumetsu by Yoshihiro Nishimura: Like Iguchi, if you’ve ever seen any of Nishimura’s you can expect some weird shit to happen and that Asami will appear in his work. You’ll also laugh your ass off and this short is no different. I’d rather not spoil the punch lines but expect a battle of the dicks.
Overall, The ABC’s of Death is a horror fan’s wet dream and nightmare slammed into what might be the most visually interesting two hours of their lives. It’s an experiment that I think really paid off to showcase how diverse the genre is and how different cultures and director’s portray their take on how to tell a story about death on the big screen. At the very least, The ABC’s of Death delivered on its promise of telling 26 stories surrounding death and at the most you were able to get a lot of quality and gory pleasure out of it.
Rating: One seriously fucked up collection of shorts made for those who love horror (?/10)
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