Having never seen one of the Twilight movies in the theater, I was expecting to sit amongst a sea of devoted followers who would scowl at my every snicker. Instead, it was quite the opposite as the majority of the audience was laughing more than I was! Breaking Dawn by director Bill Condon, may be a love story, but it’s twisted, freaky, scary and ridiculously hilarious.
I saw the first film, so I know the basic idea, but am lost as to the specifics of the rules of vampires and werewolves as written by Stephenie Meyer, author of the books of which the films are based. I would assume that anyone going to see this in the theater has either seen the previous films or the books and knows the details. I won’t go into the story, because that is futile as it’s her world, so she created the rules. Plus, I just don’t even want to go into it.
It’s obvious that there was very little effort put into any aspect of the film other than makeup, which is caked on and magically appears when waking. The fourth in a series of films, I was really expecting to see something at least SOMEWHAT realistic as far as special effects and CGI. Instead, the werewolves could have come from a 1990 TV movie shown at 1am. The werewolves moved very awkwardly like they are people in suits. The color of their fur was also incredibly off and looked more like a 1st draft rather than a final product. The vampires’ contacts were clearly visible, so it was difficult to take that even somewhat seriously. Also, they seemed to only be pale on their face and nowhere else, as they are frequently seen quite healthy-looking.
I will bring up that I am a huge fan of one of the most ridiculous vampire shows out there, HBO’s True Blood. The only thing TB has in common with Twilight is it’s mythical creatures. Alan Ball’s masterpiece rises way above Twilight in aspects such as makeup and special effects. Crazy how the production value can be so much higher on a cable television show.
I don’t think I really need to go into the acting. Kristen Stewart is riding this gravy train, and more power to her, I just hope she continues to do other projects. I quite liked her in Welcome to the Riley’s with James Gandolfini and Melissa Leo, so I know there is potential. Robert Pattinson is probably the best of the cast, but he’s not really given any good material to work with, so there’s nothing to really say about his performance.
I’m still trying to figure out the point of the music and the score. At some points it seemed like it was trying to lighten the situation (which was not necessary) then at others it was just a blatant use of a song to promote a soundtrack. Everything about the music completely brought me out of the story and was very distracting. The same can also be said for the car commercial, oh, wait, I mean scene when Bella and Edward drive away from the house.
I won’t spoil what happens if you don’t know, but I will warn: it’s very bloody. Those squeamish should be prepared. I’m truly shocked that this is PG-13 due to the subject matter and the context. As for teenagers, this is probably the best birth control ad money can buy.
We all know this will make a ton of money. The film was made for dirt-cheap as evidenced by the crappy special effects and how it’s basically all shot in one location. This film is just going through the motions. They are chugging them out as fast as they can so people don’t forget and can get hyped up for the next one. I would be shocked if any scene was shot more than three times. In a time when good independent film is trying to find a voice, Twilight screams and drowns it out.
Rating: Has Mystery Science Theater 3000 written all over it. 0/10
SPOILER SECTION – Fave scenes
- Edward googling ‘immortal child’ on the computer
- Werewolves talking to one another
- Bella’s names for her baby
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