DVD Review: ‘Tactical Force’ Is Stone Cold Stupid

There’s a sequence in Tactical Force, the latest direct-to-DVD action flick from Nasser Group and Vivendi Entertainment, when SWAT team member Hunt (Michael Jai White) runs into the SWAT truck under heavy fire and produces a grenade launcher. This happens at the precise moment that something like a grenade launcher would be useful, the equivalent of the cavalry showing up in the nick of time in an old Western serial or when the Millennium Falcon shows up in the Death Star canyon. Problem is, the truck has already been searched twice for weapons – once by the bad guys and once by Captain Tate, our hero played by Steve Austin, a man who would have been a dependable action movie star had his pro wrestling career not gotten in the way by delaying the beginning of his movie career until his forties. The fact that two thorough searches didn’t discover a three foot grenade launcher in a truck doesn’t make any sense, like a lot of other events in Tactical Force.

Yes, I know Tactical Force is a direct-to-DVD action movie, and that often indicates the movie is going to be low budget and terrible – after all, many action movies that actually make it into theaters are pretty terrible, too. But that doesn’t mean that movies like Tactical Force get a pass, especially since the paperwork I got with the DVD indicates that when it is released on August 9 the DVD will be sold for $19.97 (DVD) and $29.95 (Blu-ray), which is more than most Hollywood new releases retail for.

Anyway, before I go on I need to give you some background: Tactical Force is about a shoot first, ask questions later Los Angeles SWAT team led by Captain Tate which, after handling a supermarket hostage situation rather poorly, is forced to undergo retraining. However, unbeknownst to the team while it is training in a warehouse, a conflict between two rival gangs (using the term loosely – at first there’s only two people on each side) – the Italians and the Russians – breaks out in the warehouse on the floor right below. In the movie’s only really clever twist, the gangs quickly realize that the SWAT team isn’t using real bullets and decide to team up to get rid of them.

As with most movies of this caliber, the acting in the film is terrible. Mixed martial artist Keith Jardine, who has the “big fight” at the end of the movie with Austin, has awful delivery, but he gets by with his intimidating looks alone. That’s not something you could say about the other villainous actors, some of whom look like they belong in their local discount store buying a copy of this very movie. In addition, for whatever reason the filmmakers chose Michael Jai White to bring the comic relief, and he delivers “sassy” jokes that sound like they were written for Chris Tucker. They would not be funny if Chris Tucker delivered the same lines in Rush Hour 4. They are even less funny when White says them, because while he’s a reliable action movie actor he isn’t really a comedian and shouldn’t be cast as one.

And if you think White’s jokes are bad, Kenny’s are even worse. Who’s Kenny? Kenny (Michael Eklund) is the double-crosser who tries to play the Italian gang and the Russian gang against each other over whatever “the item” they both want is (the “item” in the briefcase is a MacGuffin – we never discover what it is except that it’s highly illegal). Eklund’s delivery might be even worse than Jardine’s since Ecklund can’t seem to decide if he’s David Arquette, Rob Schneider, or any number of annoying “comedic” sidekicks that are always unnecessary in action films. But unlike them, Kenny seems to always be on screen – seriously, from the moment he’s introduced in the movie there’s hardly a minute that goes by without Kenny popping in and delivering an unfunny line with his stupid looking facial hair.

In fact, the last two paragraphs explain what’s truly awful about Tactical Force: yes, the acting is mostly terrible and the gunfire effects look more amateurish than what the average teenager could pull off after a handful of computer art classes, but that’s forgivable if the action is good. After all, there’s a passable amount of good action in Tactical Force. But you have to go through dozens of truly awful attempts at humor to get to the action and honestly it’s just not worth it. The dialogue is filled with age-old jokes (“Got any Italian in you?” “No.” “Want some?”), which only goes to prove how unoriginal the movie is. I know writer/director Adamo Paolo Cultraro is a relative newcomer – Tactical Force is his second directorial effort – but if the best he can do is trudge up jokes that were old when I was in junior high, he’s got problems.

Believe it or not, the special features included on the disc are actually far better than the actual movie. The 11 minute making-of “Inside Tactical Force” focuses on the three most interesting people in the movie (Austin, White, and Jardine) as they talk about how the fight scenes were constructed. And the second feature, which is simply titled “Fight Sequence”, does you the favor of editing all the fight scenes together in a blitz lasting just over 2 minutes, which saves you from watching the other 86 minutes if you just want to get to the fight scenes.

Look, don’t buy the movie, especially at the retail price listed. The 88 minute run time (and about 10 minutes of it is slow-motion) isn’t worth it. If you’re a big Steve Austin fan – and that’s probably the only reason why you would see this – get it off of Netflix or Redbox when it eventually hits those budget rentals. Nonetheless, Steve Austin has been in better movies, and he will probably be in better ones too, in fact his next film (Recoil) co-stars Danny Trejo and his next (The Package) co-stars Dolph Lundgren, so you’ve already got a better cast with those. Might as well wait for them.

Movie Rating: 1/10 – Steve Austin is just about the only reason to see this movie.

DVD Rating: 5/10